Friday, May 5, 2017

Sugar Honey Ice Tea! / Azúcar Miel Hielo Té!

Le version español está después de la versión inglés.


In late March, I cut my finger on a fruit tin when I stupidly pushed my hand into the bag of recycling to make more room.

Clearly, I needed stitches, but I couldn’t be bothered. So I wrapped it tightly in a bandage and hoped that would do. It did. I took good care of it and it healed cleanly (although it’s still tender).

When San Geraldo saw my wrapped finger, he was of course concerned. “Do you need stitches?” he asked.

“Probably,” I replied. “But I stopped the bleeding so I’m not going to worry about it.”

He was not pleased with me. But I have now been vindicated. (Keep reading.)

THE ATTACK OF THE KILLER SUGAR CUBE
LA VENGANZA DE ASESINO TERRON DE AZÚCAR

Our friend Kristina is a psychiatric nurse. We noticed she had a long scratch above her wrist and a heavily bandaged thumb.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Oh this?” she asked as she aimed her thumb in our direction. “You wouldn’t believe it. I was washing dishes and I had the water too hot. I grabbed a cold glass and began to wash it and it shattered in my hand.”

“Did you need stitches,” asked San Geraldo.

“I did,” the nurse responded, “But I just wrapped it tightly. I couldn’t be bothered.”

“Is that when you got the scratch on your arm, too?” I asked.

“No,” she replied. “You wouldn’t believe it. I made a cup of coffee and didn’t have any sugar in the house except for very large cubes from the Arab market downstairs.

"I broke a cube in half and thought I could rub the halves together to crumble a little sugar into my cup. My hand slipped and I scratched my arm with the sugar cube.”
__________
By the way, Sugar Honey Ice Tea is what My Mother The Dowager Duchess would say when she really wanted to say "SHIT!"

I forgot to mention, yesterday I shut the window on my finger. Sugar Honey Ice Tea!


A finales de marzo, me corté el dedo en una lata de frutas cuando empujé la mano en la bolsa de reciclaje para hacer más espacio.

Claramente, necesitaba puntos de sutura, pero no podía ser molestado. Así que lo envolvió fuertemente en un vendaje y esperaba que lo hiciera. Hizo. 

Cuando San Geraldo vio mi dedo envuelto, por supuesto estaba preocupado. "¿Necesita puntos de sutura?", preguntó.

"Probablemente," respondí. "Pero he detenido el sangrado, así que no voy a preocuparme por eso".

No estaba contento conmigo. Pero ahora he sido vindicado (sigue leyendo).

Nuestra amiga Kristina es una enfermera psiquiátrica. Nos dimos cuenta de que tenía un rasguño largo por encima de su muñeca y un pulgar vendado.

"¿Qué pasó?" pregunté.

"¿Oh esto?" preguntó mientras apuntaba su pulgar en nuestra dirección. No lo creerías. Estaba lavando platos y tenía el agua demasiado caliente. Cogí un vaso frío y empecé a lavarlo y se rompió en mi mano.

"¿Necesitas puntos de sutura?" preguntó San Geraldo.

"Sí," respondió la enfermera, "Pero lo acerqué con fuerza. No podría molestarme."

"¿Eso es cuando tienes el rasguño en el brazo, también?" pregunté.

"No." respondió ella. "No lo creerías. Hice una taza de café y no tenía ningún azúcar en la casa excepto por terrones de azucar grandes del mercado árabe abajo.

"Rompí un terron por la mitad y pensé que podía frotar las mitades para desmenuzar un poco de azúcar en mi taza. La mano se deslizó y me rasqué el brazo con el terron de azúcar.
__________
Por cierto, "Sugar Honey Ice Tea" es lo que Mi Madre La Duquesa Viuda diría cuando realmente quería decir "¡SHIT!"

Me olvidé de mencionar, ayer cerré la ventana en mi dedo. ¡Sugar Honey Ice Tea!



29 comments:

  1. As a euphemism, "sugar honey ice tea" is right up there with "aitch eee double hockey sticks."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debra:
      I DO love "aitch eee double hockey sticks"!

      Delete
  2. Someone's having TOO much fun 'fliping the finger', I'd say!! lol
    Self-treatment can be a good alternative than going to emergency/doctor's office.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim:
      Oh, I really did enjoy myself. I'm still flipping the scar in many directions.

      Delete
  3. Ha, ha -Great Mitchell our wounds will be famous around the world now ;-) by the way my finger is healing quite nicely. I had it "out" in the sun today snd that must be good, no?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristina:
      Your bandage was so much more artfully (professionally) done. But I hope you won't be permanently scared or there goes your career as a hand model. (P.S.: Thanks for the "materials.")

      Delete
  4. Sellotape is good for holding and wound together, once it has been doused with a disinfectant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heron:
      I've never tried. I have to admit though, I have used paper towels and masking tape in the past. My mother always used Super Glue when she broke a nail.

      Delete
  5. My exclamations when faced with Excruciating pain is F F---- Sake !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heron:
      Do you really say F F---- Sake or do you fill in the blanks? When I met Jerry, he said "Oh Fudge." I've corrupted him.

      Delete
  6. I would hate to have to get stitches in my finger. But I bet yours will have twinges for years; all those nerves. All's well that ends well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wilma:
      I don't think I'll have twinges (I don't have any now), but I also don't think it's healed completely below the surface because it's still very tender. I just had stitches out of my calf today for something else. Very annoying... and that one still stings!

      Delete
  7. my grandmom used to say "sugar honey iced tea" until we grandkids got older and knew what she meant. so that's when she started saying "shit" instead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anne marie:
      My mother rarely swore... but she did. As she got older, however, she was usually even more polite and only said "Sugar!" I didn't follow her example and was regularly admonished with, "Mitchell!!!" Aw, shit, Ma!

      Delete
  8. And some people are scared of leaving the house - you can apparently injure yourself pretty good while just at home! I have a big scratch across my stomach due to Buddy's hind claws - he sits on my lap in the truck when we take him to the park but he got particularly rambunctious last time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheapchick:
      I have no fear of leaving the house. Most days I can't wait to escape; it's a dangerous place. I hit my forehead on a cabinet handle in the kitchen this afternoon. It doesn't look too bad.

      Ew, cat's claws. Fortunately that rarely happens with these cats. Any scratch I get immediately inflames and needs medicated ointment.

      Delete
  9. I think you better sit today out kid, while your ahead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mistress maddie:
      Too late. I've got a cut on my head from a kitchen cabinet. It's not the first time.

      Delete
  10. Ouch, but that looks painful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen:
      Yeah, that finger REALLY hurt for several days. Now it looks good but is a bit tender. Anyway, I've got other wounds to take its place!

      Delete
  11. Take care and be careful

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gosia:
      It's the story of my life. I once got a black eye from a low-hanging tree branch.

      Delete
  12. You're all a little dangerous, and sugar? Sugar? A weapon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bob:
      Both my grandmothers were Diabetic. My mother always told me sugar was dangerous. As always (or so she'd tell you), she was right.

      Delete
  13. Why, why did you have to post the picture of your wound?... And now excuse me but I am going to faint for a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Petie:
      I am so sorry. I meant to include a warning... thinking of you... but I forgot!

      Delete
  14. Dangerous place, be careful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Travel:
      Oh, I won't tell you what I did this morning while trimming my mustache! But I'll probably tell you tomorrow.

      Delete
  15. I prefer my iced tea without sugar, strong and bitter - like my men.

    ReplyDelete

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